


Hearts and Cauldrons Discord Prompt Dump

by corvusdraconis, Dragon_and_the_Rose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hearts & Cauldrons, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 13,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvusdraconis/pseuds/corvusdraconis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_and_the_Rose/pseuds/Dragon_and_the_Rose
Summary: This is a picture/drabble/writing dump for all the prompts taken from the Hearts & Cauldrons SSHG discord. Things here will be utterly random, as prompts tend to be.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 346
Kudos: 323
Collections: Hearts and Cauldrons - Daily Prompts!, Hearts and Cauldrons Discord Members





	1. Salad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [turtle_wexler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtle_wexler/gifts).



[](https://imgur.com/tX0XO9X)

For Turtle_Wexler whose prompt was: "Right in front of my salad?"

Yes, I used the wrong your in the second part, but I'm too lazy to go back and fix it. Brain fizzle.


	2. Dungeon Bat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bat-Severus

[ ](https://imgur.com/DVoFpbf)

For [Mersheeple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mersheeple/profile) and [Morbidmuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morbidmuch/profile), who loves a bat-Snape and wants to hug him.


	3. Hellhound and the Nundu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nundu Hermione pounces Hellhound Severus and gives him love, whether he wants it or not!

[](https://imgur.com/ObfcqTN)

(worked on this for like 3-4 nights and then CSP decided to crash while saving it. This is the last record of the work before it all died a horribly black-screened death)


	4. Portraits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practising in a few different programs. I can never settle on just one.

Started lines then deleted them.

Practising not using any lines first (Scary)

"Ït's been a long day, Hermione," Severus said wearily, the fatigue hanging from his bones. "Please tell me that Potter blew himself up and the Weasel went with him."

"Um," Hermione said with a frown. "No, but--"

Severus sighed heavily.

"I made you dinner and I'm not wearing any knickers."

Severus was silent a moment as he pulled the remains of his cravat off his neck. "Potter is forgiven. For now."

(All of you on AO3 get to see the art. FF dot net doesn't. Don't you feel lucky? Or is it cursed... huh...)


	5. Nudity Warning Oihermione Prompt 190720

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loosely from Oihermione's prompt on the Hearts and Cauldron's Discord. Warning for nudity.

From [Oihermione](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oihermione/pseuds/oihermione) 's Prompt on 19.07.2020


	6. Hermione and Her Megalosaurus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Sev-dino because... why not.

[ ](https://imgur.com/BlyRvtg)

It had been a tiring day, all and all, and finding enough food to feed a hungry megalosaurus was hard enough when people frowned on you predating on their cows, sheep, or the occasional variety of hoofed snacks on legs. 

At least, she thought, she never had to worry about being cold, for the dinosaur's warm insulating feathers always seemed just enough to make sleep comfortable. 

Professor Snape had, to his credit, not eaten Neville after the incident, but it hadn't been for lack of trying.

No, Hermione had managed to in a fit of accidental and fear-for-Neville's-life-what-else-was-new-bloody-hell-what-now that had broken through the Apparition wards and transported them to a far-off shore where the otters were too quick to be eaten but the nearby dead whale had been perfectly convenient enough to suffice. 

Stasis charms, disillusionment, and the ever underestimated but highly valued air-freshening charm didn't hurt either. Being the daughter of a dentist had helped keep the dinosaur's teeth free of tendon and bone stuck between his teeth and helped his rather rancid whale-breath.

Oddly, once his hunger and violent desire to murder Neville Longbottom had been eased, Professor Snape had seemed to have a strangely protective demeanour. He followed her around with a mild stompy stompy stompy gait, and when she wasn't going quite fast enough for his taste, he wedged himself under her and carried her as he plodding along back towards Hogwarts.

It was going to take a few days, Hermione figured. Her wand was back at Hogwarts, probably covered in exploded potion like half the room before her magic had prevented Professor Snape from eating Neville. She had a rudimentary ability to cast wandless magic, but it seemed that while she could practice magical dentistry, freshen her professor's carnivore breath, preserve food, and disillusion herself and one irritated Jurassic period Great Lizard, Apparition (on purpose, anyway) was not happening.

She wasn't licensed, anyway, and she really didn't want to add "splinched potions professor" to her resume of things he would undoubtedly take points off for the moment he was returned to normal.

Her attempts at producing a Patronus had always been with a wand, and her attempt to conjure a happy memory was hard enough with a wand when you weren't cross-country trekking with a dinosaur across Scotland.

Strangely, she found herself appreciating Professor Snape's company, and even more strangely, he seemed more tolerant of her talking to herself and to him when he was a dinosaur.

At least he wasn't trying to eat her.

All bets were off when they returned back to Hogwarts.

She really hoped Neville had enough sense to stay far, far away for--

Well however long it took the Potions master to stop holding a grudge.

Snape started, the warm draft of air from his nostrils moving about her hair wildly.

Could he read her mind?

She placed a hand between his eye ridges and carressed the feathery coating of down-like feathers. He seemed to appreciate it, his eyes half-closing and his mouth parted in enjoyment. His leg did a little twitch like the hindquarters of a dog when you got just the right spot scratched.

A tingle of something rose in her chest, and she felt a warmth fill her as her body seemed to vibrate.

Her body seemed to be made of light as a Patronus emerged from her body like a spirit walking through her--

It was a Megalosaurus.

The great Patronus roared and hared off towards Hogwarts and hopefully help.

Professor Snape was staring at her, his reptilian eyes seeming to look into her soul.

"Seems you're my happiest memory, Professor," Hermione said. "I hope you don't mind." She smiled at him weakly.

Professor Snape seemed to sniff before he shoved his head against her for more eye ridge scratches.

Hermione, smiling, obliged.


	7. The Misadventures of Snapeasaurus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the misadventures of Granger and Snapeasaurus that started with a a drabble and art of Megalosaurus!Snape.

**Summary:** A continuation of the misadventures of Granger and Snapeasaurus started with the drabble and art of Hermione and her Megalosaurus!Snape.

 **Beta Love:** No beta, no love *Sobs uncontrollably* Nope, caught again! Dragon and the Rose.

 **Warnings:** Probably crack, AU, all that jazz.

* * *

**The Misadventures of Snapeasaurus**

_If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation._

**Jiddu Krishnamurti**

* * *

[](https://imgur.com/8qcbJy3)  
(Original sketch by Jojo the Rad Penguin, lined and inked by me. Thanks Jojo!)

* * *

When the Aurors arrived to return them both to Hogwarts, it took some extra convincing on their part that they weren’t trying to harm Hermione. They had sent their most efficient and talented Aurors, and they had looked like a cross between rough, severe, scowl, and menace.

Hermione could feel Snape’s protective fury as he manoeuvred in front of her and kept her behind his legs, and she was happy to be protected judging by their appearance. 

No wonder no one liked Aurors. 

Sheesh. 

They were **_scary_ **.

The irony that she’d find comfort from the admittedly far scarier Professor Snape wasn’t lost on her. 

She placed her hand on Snape’s leg, and his head was on a swivel, his sharp teeth snapping when the Aurors attempted to advance.

When they tried to bring out their wands, Snape’s ire seemed all the more stoked, and when Hermione cringed behind him as she begged them to put down their wands—

Neither the Aurors nor Professor Snape seemed all that eager to put aside their aggression towards the other party.

But when one Auror seemed to have enough of the standoff, he loosed a spell directly at the “creature’s” face.

 **_“NO!”_ ** Hermione cried, rushing forward to throw herself in front of it. **_“Don’t hurt Professor Snape!”_ **

There was a stunned silence as Hermione’s body jerked and twisted, scores of deep cuts appearing all over her small frame as she let out a pained yelp and whimper. Her body fell to the ground in front of the Aurors and one shocked megalosaurus.

The dinosaur’s nostrils flared as he nudged her gently. Blood smeared down his snout where her wounds painted his feathers crimson, staining them so darkly that it looked like tar.

_Nudge._

Nothing.

 _Nudge, nudge_.

Nothing.

The dinosaur gave a low, mournful-sounding chuff, his nose pressed into the curve of her hand and nudged again in a self-petting movement.

Lips pulled sharply back from his fangs, which were now dripping with whetted ire and saliva.

His black eyes seemed to scream of the yawning Abyss as he let out an unnaturally loud roaring shriek of absolute fury. 

The Aurors might as well have been fighting a Nundu for all the good their magic did them as the incredibly pissed off megalosaurus proceeded to go about claiming his pound of flesh from each of their unworthy hides with extreme prejudice.

* * *

“What the **_hell_ **is going on here, Albus?” Minerva asked, wringing her hands together as she took in the sight of a heavily bandaged Hermione Granger lying motionless on the infirmary bed. 

The other beds had been moved away to make room for one highly intimidating wall of reptilian black and deep green feathers and scales. Despite the absolutely terrifying change in physical appearance, Minerva had no problem recognising that familiar dark, umbral gaze.

The dinosaur had his head laying next to Granger’s still, mummified form. Her body smelled of liniments and medicines from Poppy’s care. He’d tucked Granger in next to his body, allowing his feather-covered tail to wrap around her in a secure protective embrace. Her hand curved naturally over his snout, seeming so utterly small and fragile against the reptile’s considerably larger size.

Albus was stroking his beard again. The compulsion seemingly increased with the power of his knitted eyebrows. “I believe Miss Granger has formed a most unexpected bond with our Severus, Minerva.”

Minerva looked at the infirmary full of moaning groaning Aurors and back at Severus. Severus gave her a steely gaze that spoke of predatory ferociousness and sheer protective wrath. “But why are there so many injured Aurors in our infirmary? Why is Severus a— a— whatever in Merlin’s name **_that_ **is?!” 

Severus’ expression was thunderous, and the tightening of his lips over his multiple rows of intimidating teeth did not help in the slightest.

“Megalosaurus,” Albus sighed. “From what our friends in the DoM have been able to determine..”

“Why on earth is the Department of Mysteries involved in this?” Minerva’s voice was getting rather shrill, something quite uncharacteristic of the normally cool-headed transfiguration professor and Deputy Headmistress.

“Well, the forcible transformation into a dinosaur is a bit of a mystery, Minerva,” Albus said with a shrug. “They think it could have been an Animagus form had he actually studied to become one, but thanks to Mr Longbottom’s most unfortunate experimentation in potions class—”

“Is that why Mr Longbottom hasn’t left Gryffindor tower for a solid week now? He refuses to talk to me about it. He refuses to set foot out of the tower at all, not for classes or even meals. The boy claims he’s going to die.” 

The megalosaurus snorted at that, his tail wrapping a little tighter around Hermione.

“Not for lack of trying, I understand,” Albus commented, fighting back an amused twinkle. “The boy may be proven right if he dares show his face around Severus while he’s trapped in this form. The instinct to eat him is apparently very, very strong indeed.” 

Minerva’s eyes widened. “Why are we having this conversation so calmly?” 

Albus took in a deep breath and let it out. “Severus seems perfectly rational when Miss Granger is there to temper his primitive instincts.” 

“But why Miss Granger? Can’t we have one of the staff stay with him?!” Minerva looked at the protective curl of his tail around Granger’s body and Severus’ narrow-eyed murderous expression. He looked like he was going to stand, and a low, reverberating growl started to gather in his throat.

Hermione’s small hand touched his nose, gently stroking his scales and feathers, even in her half-aware state, and the megalosaurus settled again, his eyes never leaving Minerva. 

To Minerva’s horror, the young witch seemed to sigh and snuggle into the beast’s warmth, tucking herself deep into his thick coat of warm, downy feathers.

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be a very good idea,” Albus said after a long moment. “The bond between then is very tight.” 

“ ** _What_ ** bond?” Minerva’s frustration seemed to grow even more.

“Minerva, please,” Albus sighed. “I have no clue as to the nature of it or what caused it. That is part of the reason why the DoM is currently looking into the situation. Now, I certainly do realise that you are quite understandably concerned for young Miss Granger’s welfare, but the fact of the matter is that they survived out there in the wilds for over a week, never once drawing attention to themselves. She was only injured when the Aurors arrived on the scene to rescue them and hadn’t realised our Severus was now— well, an exceedingly large reptile.” 

The agitated stomping of dragonhide boots on the flagstone floor signalled the arrival of Alastor Moody as he stormed in on a black cloud of righteous fury. “Snape!” he hissed. “What’s this I hear about you transforming yourself into some ruddy beast in an attempt to manipulate an innocent girl?” 

Glittering motes of magic seemed to dance around Granger’s supine form as she curled even tighter into a foetal position, her hands going over her ears to cover them in an effort to drown out the racket.

Snape’s low growl made the bed shake as he tucked Granger under his head. 

“This farce has gone on long enough. Bad enough you’re a bloody Dark wizard, but now you’re using this ruddy cock-up to your perverted advantage, and I won’t stand for it,” Moody snarled. 

“Alastor, no—” Albus attempted to warn the Auror, going for his own wand.

**_SMACK!_ **

Snape’s tail whipped out and sent the Auror careening out the open infirmary window, bouncing off a nearby tree into a very unhappy Whomping Willow, which promptly, well, whomped him, sending Moody flying arse over tit into Black Lake to land in the tentacles of a baffled-looking giant squid. 

Albus furrowed his brows. “Was that truly necessary, Severus?” 

Hermione touched Snape’s snout and patted it comfortingly. “He says it could have been _much_ worse.” 

Dumbledore and Minerva looked at Hermione like she’d grown a second head.

“May I go back to sleep, Professor?” 

Severus laid his head back over her, tucking her securely against his body. The unmistakable flare of warm, soothing magic resonated between them. 

“Mmm,” Hermione mumbled, falling back into sleep.

Albus and Minerva stared at each other, neither knowing what to do or say.

* * *

“Professor Snape would like everyone to take a seat and— be silent,” Hermione said a little awkwardly as she sat at a small desk next to Snape’s larger teaching desk. “Today’s lesson is on the all-purpose anti-venin potion. The instructions are on the board.” 

Snape let out a barking snarl.

“And he wishes you to know that if you think being a huge dinosaur in a classroom will excuse you from paying proper attention, Mr Potter, you will find yourself serving detention along with Mr Longbottom, who will be—” 

Hermione turned to face the megalosaurus. “Professor—” 

The dinosaur gave her a pointed look.

Hermione sighed. “Serving detention until he’s as old as Headmaster Dumbledore.” 

Neville tried to merge with the floor as Harry looked constipated.

Ron, unable to keep his big mouth shut, blurted out, “Oi, Hermione! Why are **_you_ **teaching the ruddy class? It’s not like you’re a teacher!” 

Hermione winced, looking at the wrathful Snape. Her head hurt from his stream of epithets, and he seemed somewhat mollified by her pain. He nosed her hand, apologetically. “Professor Snape would like you to remember that **_he_ **is the one teaching this class, and if you have any complaints, you are welcome to discuss them with the headmaster.”

Hermione opened up her book and gathered up her materials. “Time starts now. Place your finished potions on Professor Snape’s desk for evaluation. Those that fail to do so will give him three feet of parchment on the clinical uses of anti-venin potions outside the most obvious use, that of treating a patient who suffered an attack from some species of venomous creature. You may begin.” 

No one moved.

Snape barked a vicious snarl.

 **_“Now,_ **” Hermione added sharply.

Students quickly scattered to obey.

And so began the journey of one Hermione Jean Granger, megalosaurus translator, potions apprentice, teaching assistant, former Gryffindor, adopted member of Slytherin, and the most important thing of all, according to the completely cowed students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: She-Who-Somehow-Kept-Snape-From-Murdering-Everyone.

* * *

Hermione hastily scribbled a flurry of notes into her journal as she studied her latest assignment and poor Professor Snape endured what must have been the most epically boring faculty meeting he’d ever attended. She could practically feel the weariness dripping off his aura, and it was only his comforting warmth pressed against her that reminded her that he was calm if only for her being there.

That was a revelation she’d _never_ seen coming.

All attempts to reverse the “condition” on Snape had ended with the unlucky curse-breakers breaking out in colourful feathers in embarrassing places, or turned them into various colours of _Compsognathus longpipes_ , a small turkey-sized dinosaur that hadn’t been seen since the Tithonian age in the late Jurassic period.

Dinosaurs that, unfortunately for them, were much lower on the food chain than the Megalosaurus, a fact of which Snape very quickly reminded them.

As long as Hermione was there, in physical contact pretty much at all times, the only exceptions being him pacing and growling impatiently outside her lavatory door, his instinctive need to predate on “anything smaller than himself” was kept safely under wraps.

Without _her_ —

Well, at least they had stopped trying after the first few disastrous attempts.

Dumbledore had authorised her apprenticeship and resorting, and Snape became her sole teacher in all things save Divination, which Hermione had sworn off anyway and Arithmancy, which she attended with Snape close by.

Many weren’t sure if Hermione had managed to pick up Snape’s notoriously horrible vernacular or if she was simply directly translating what the dour wizard was saying to her. No one understood how or why she could understand him when no one else could. They’d tried multiple things, even having Minerva try changing into a cat to speak with him. It hadn’t ended well. Minerva was “small” and all-too-conveniently “snack-sized.” 

So, Snape became her living desk and chair, and she used his back as a table and tail as a seat or just propped herself up against his warm side and listened to the lecture with a portable wooden lap desk nestled on her knees.

Lessons, Hermione found out to her pleasure, were so much more relaxing with one on one teaching, and Snape was, even more strangely, a patient teacher when he wasn’t in a classroom setting with people trying to blow him and their fellow students to smithereens. The teasing and otherwise malicious pranking had disappeared completely (she couldn’t imagine _why_ ), and no one dared bother her when she wanted to study.

She ended up, since she was his main translator, becoming privy to the true face of Slytherin, which included everything from midlife crises (who knew that could happen as a teenager) and wailing over what were often frankly horrific arranged marriages. 

Hermione began to truly— understand.

She kept all that she learned under lock and key and a permanent sealing charm in her head, and that garnered her appreciation and true respect amongst the Slytherin who thought she would run off and tell their secrets but also resulted in her earning the ever-growing ire of Gryffindor who thought her loyalty should have stayed where it belonged: with _them_.

But her loyalty had been irrevocably sealed, unbeknownst to them, not to Slytherin but to Severus Snape.

She had fallen into the depths of a mind so complex that it fascinated her like a library of forgotten and neglected books. She roamed the pathways of his presence like a cherished and beloved book, and she found she couldn’t even contemplate sleeping if not for his presence nestled against her.

She’d learned to go “hunting” with him, clinging to his feathered back as he tore off through the Dark Forest in chase of prey— prey that found that having eight legs and huge size did absolutely nothing to protect against a hungry megalosaurus, whose hide was impervious to their fangs and whose teeth and dagger claws ripped open their bodies like a hot knife through butter.

Hagrid was in tears, for some reason, which Hermione could not fathom.

The centaur applauded him as a herd-hero.

Hermione was given special permission to visit the centaur (and the Forbidden Forest), and they taught her the ancient art of bowmaking and spearmaking to assist “on the hunt” as well as leatherworking to make a suitable harness to help keep her glued to Snape’s back when he was going at a full run. 

Snape tolerated it much as he tolerated her, making chuffing noises and low growls, but only her hand ever touched his body, rubbed his eye ridges, and even placed her hands into his mouth to clean his teeth.

Whatever odd looks they might have given her to be on the green with a giant toothbrush to clean all of his dagger teeth to a glistening opal finish ended with Snape’s predatory look and low, rumbling growl as he held still for her attentions. She bathed him in the lake, sudding him down and then meticulously oiling his scaled hide afterwards until he was shining with health.

Perhaps, some of the student and staff might have made the comment that Snape had never looked so healthy before if not for the dutiful attention of Hermione Granger. She filed and tended his talons until they shined, and then she would comb his feathers until they were free of random debris and disarray. 

Her hair, however, thanks to his snuffling and random experimental chomp-licks, was a disaster that even the best hair tonic had nothing but futile flailing about trying to solve. Granger’s grades had never been better; however, and no one had ever accused Snape of playing favourites before or after his transformation.

Being a megalosaurus wasn’t hindering his dangerous reputation in the slightest.

No, definitely not.

And, perhaps, a certain old wizard was thinking it was all for the better, even if those like Minerva were still trying very hard to figure out how to get her cub back and Severus back to “normal.” 

“The bond is far stronger than a mere curse, cat-witch,” Magorian said as he crossed his arms across his chest. He gestured to where Hermione was standing on top of Snape’s back to reach the higher branches and the tasty pine nuts that were well out of reach for normal land walkers. “Their stars are tightly bound.” 

“It’s just not natural,” Minerva protested. “The change was an unfortunate accident.” 

“Was it really?” Magorian replied, his lips pressed firmly into a flat line. “I think you are too deeply rooted like the ancient oak, but your roots are bound and unhealthy. Look at how in sync they are. How much at ease. Ever since he first ran into the forest to escape your favoured ones, he has never been so strong and healthy. He does not brood as he once did; his gaze is firmly locked on the ground instead of the heavens. Look at how she is? Confident. Brazen. Yet she still listens to his guidance. She respects our ways. She keeps her eyes on the stars and planets as well as the ground as a proper foal should.”

“But we have no idea what he is teaching her! It could all be in her head!” 

“Professor Snape kindly asks you to butt the hell out, Minerva,” Hermione said, her kinder voice having taken on the odd tinge of Snape’s scathing tones. Hermione’s amber eyes were glowing, and motes of wild magic danced around her hair and arms, moving down her body as the sun’s burning fires flared and ebbed. Hermione looked down at Snape as she pulled another pinecone down. “Are you sure? She’s a **_teacher!”_ **

Hermione’s face twisted with some inner conflict, but then she sighed and looked over at Minerva. “And I would kindly ask you to go fuck a sodding haggis. I can teach Miss Granger just fine. She will take any battery of tests you can throw at her, and she will pass them all with flying colours.” 

Minerva’s face grew cherry red as she spluttered helplessly, one hand clutching at her chest. “If she’s always taking tests while you’re there, she _could_ be—” 

The megalosaurus’s teeth snapped shut mere inches from Minerva’s head.

“Do. Not. Finish. That. Sentence, Minerva,” Hermione’s voice bit out icily. 

“People will assume—” 

“With **_YOUR_ **help!”

“At least let her take the test without you there!” 

Snape’s snarl dribbled foamy slaver all over Minerva’s hat. He seemed but a sliver away from having a certain cat Animagus for lunch.

Literally.

Hermione’s hand lay softly against Snape’s scaled lips. Her eyes scanned his mouth as she caressed the smooth scales. “I’ll take them,” Hermione said. “But you are not allowed to blame him for any lack of control while I do.” 

“I can handle him, lass,” Minerva said confidently.

The look Hermione gave her once head of house was disturbingly Snapelike. Her lip curled, twisting her mouth into a distinctively scowl. “You’ll try.” She handed Magorian the basket of pinecones full of plump pinenuts. “But you don’t trust him. He will smell it on you.”

“Trust has nothing to do with it, lass, but I trust Severus.” 

Hermione’s expression was serene. “I don’t believe you.”

* * *

Hermione hadn’t really thought herself ready for formal testing, but Snape had told her she was ready. Apprentice testing was supposedly harder than anything the O.W.L.s or even N.E.W.T.s could throw at you due to the expected quality of the education. Still, it was clear that the Deputy Headmistress was not all that confident that Hermione could do the tests with Snape there to feed her help.

It angered her that anyone would think she’d cheat on a test, and she found her respect for the Deputy Headmistress to lower just pondering the situation.

She escorted her professor to the Deputy Headmistress’ quarters and gave Snape a reassuring pat. “I’ll be back soon,” she said. 

The megalosaurus seemed content enough, and Minerva had dismissed the need for any sort of help in handling him, satisfied that she could take care of whatever anxiety Snape might have if it was actually there. 

Hermione had felt a little strange without Snape’s warmth with her, even lonely. She had become so used to his presence, even comfort, that she was starting to regret her earlier bravery in saying she’d take the tests alone.

Not that she was cheating. **_EVER!_ **

No, she simply missed that ever-present warmth he had become in her life.

So much for dinosaurs being cold-blooded, she mused.

So much for a lot of things people believed, really.

The tests had one requirement other than her being alone and supervised by a ministry official: a magical suppression collar that made sure there were no outside influences to her test knowledge.

Hermione had rolled her eyes. As. If.

The moment the collar had clicked around her, she felt a pool of dread settle in her stomach. She fought it, using every control Snape had taught her to focus, recenter, and stay on task.

She had to say that after having helped Professor Snape with every sort of grading from first year up, she knew a “stupid” answer when she saw one. She habitually circled bad answers in red ink and wrote scathing comments next to it saying why it was wrong, having unintentionally learned how to change the ink in her quill to red and back to do so. Apparently, minor magics such as ink charms were allowed through the suppression collar, and her final turn in for the test was covered in red and black ink, scalding commentary, and detailed rationales in every essay space. 

By the time she had turned in her work, the ministry official that looked over her test had eyes as wide as saucers. He passed a unique wand over it, and it glowed a brilliant gold and set off miniature fireworks. The official swallowed hard, yanking on his collar a bit.

“Apprentice Granger,” he said a bit stiffly. He reached over to take off her collar. “You will get your official results in a few days by an owl.” He took the collar off with a click. “Our apologies for the collar. We were told there was a chance you would be—” 

“A cheater,” Hermione finished.

The official seemed to shrink from her gaze as if it were floor covered in lava. “Yes, well, I can see that this was hardly the case.” 

Hermione’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded grimly. “Thank you for your time, Mr Collingsworth. If I may ask, what test was this, exactly?”

“You mean, you didn’t know?” 

Hermione tilted her head, her eyes rolling forward to stare at him. “Obviously.” 

Collingsworth flinched. “It is the mastery determination test. If you pass it, you are allowed to choose the focus of your mastery studies under your current master.” 

“So, I will still have to take my N.E.W.T.s?” Hermione asked.

He gave her a strange expression. “No, Apprentice Granger. If you pass this test, it confirms you are ready to study for your full mastery. I, uh— it was presumed you had already taken the other tests before taking this one. It’s, uh, much harder.” 

“And _who_ chose the test, if I may be so bold as to ask,” Hermione said, her voice taking on a steely tone. 

“The request for testing was sent in by Deputy Headmistress McGonagall.” 

“I see.” Hermione rolled her head, cracking her neck. “Thank you for your consideration,” she said formally.

“Apprentice Granger,” he said, nodding. He waved his wand, and the wards and doors opened up so she could leave.

“Ah, Miss Granger,” Albus said, having been waiting for her by the door. “I believe we should probably hurry and have you retrieve Severus from the Deputy Headmistress’ rooms—” 

Hermione’s brows raised high into her hair. “Yes, Headmaster.”

* * *

Hermione had seen demolished houses before when she helped her parents with charities throughout the years, but what greeted her eyes upon her return to Minerva McGonagall’s quarters … 

Well, it was as if a bulldozer had blown through the place driven by a drunken monkey high on PCP. 

There wasn’t a single square inch of space that wasn’t trashed, torn, or otherwise mangled and smashed to pieces.

And upon the only place not smashed to smithereens, one terrified silver tabby was desperately clinging to the chandelier. 

**_“Professor Snape!”_ **Hermione cried, running towards the exceedingly pissed-off megalosaurus and wrapping her arms around his leg. 

The dinosaur paused in his jumping and snapping at the just out of reach snack that was taunting him.

A warm rush of magic flared, and Hermione’s eyes glowed for a second. “It’s okay, Professor. I’m finished with my tests. We can go out and get some dinner so you don’t have to eat Professor McGonagall, okay?” 

Snape rumbled softly, his nose bumping into her, mouth parting to expose all of his teeth as a rough purr sounded from his throat.

“Language, sir,” Hermione admonished. “You’d take points from me if I said anything like that.” 

Snape seemed utterly unimpressed by that, his jaws closing carefully around her shoulder and moving her over so he could wedge his head against her.

She rubbed his eye ridges and hugged his snout. “If it’s okay, Headmaster, I think I should take Professor Snape to get something to eat before he gets too hungry.” 

“I think that is a marvellous idea, Miss Granger. Please do,” Albus said kindly with an approving nod. 

Hermione patted Professor Snape’s feathers and placed her fingers under his jaw. “Come along then,” she said. “Let’s get some food. I’m positively starving too- **_NNGAHHH!”_ **

Snape took her up in his mouth by the collar and robes, walking out with thudding stompy footsteps as the remains of an ornate thistle-embossed vase fell on the floor and died a horrible death.

Albus watched them leave with an amused smile, but then his face grew quite stern and serious. “I _do_ hope you’re through with trying to disprove whatever it was you were attempting to disprove, Minerva,” he said with a sigh. Should you try something like this again, the consequences could prove very dire, indeed. Do I need to repeat myself?” 

Minerva meowed piteously from above.

“Excellent.” The headmaster turned to leave. “Do clean this up, Minerva. You could hurt yourself quite badly in here.” 

He glided out in all his purple and silver star-spangled glory.

Minerva clung desperately to her final refuge with a rather frightened-sounding meow.

The house-elves told him she didn’t come down until several hours later that night.

* * *

“That’s nasty, sir,” Hermione said, wrinkling her nose as the megalosaurus crunched on the bodies of a few select Acromantula. She nibbled on her own bowl of venison stew and tried hard to think of England.

“Better it not go to waste,” Magorian said with an amused chuckle as he passed her a dish of dried fruit and freshly roasted nuts. “How did your testing go?” 

“I don’t know yet,” Hermione said. “The man cast some sort of spell on my work before I left and it turned gold, but I have no idea if that means I passed the test or simply that I didn’t cheat.” 

Magorian shook his head. “The word of the master saying you are ready was always good enough before.”

Hermione sighed. “I don’t know _why_ she doesn’t trust Professor Snape. She says she does, but she acts like she doesn’t.” 

“Trust is a very rare thing, friend Hermione,” Firenze said. “One can work with others and yet not trust them.” 

Hermione shrugged. “I suppose so, but Professor Snape has never hurt me. I don’t see why anyone would think to provoke him to prove otherwise would help anything.” 

“Many think that if they cannot see or hear something for themselves that it ceases to be real. We centaur often believe that humans are inferior to us for they do learn the stars and planets. They cannot or do not hunt, so, therefore, they do not understand the world. It is not strictly true, but we often fall victim to thinking it. Our cultures are so very different, and as a human would call us beasts, we would call a human a fool blind to the Earth and Stars.” 

Hermione looked skyward. “I guess we all have our own failings.” 

“The cat-witch has been here a very long time, Hermione,” Firenze said. “She has seen a great many things, but she has also _not_ seen a great many things. We can only hope that she has learned that what you have is something quite unique and powerful, indeed.”

Hermione leaned back against Snape’s warm body. “I’m glad you’re here, Professor.” 

The megalosaurus rumbled deeply as he curled his tail around her to bring her closer to his body and hold her tighter against his scales and feathers.

Her eyes drifted shut without her permission as sleep claimed her aggressively, dragging her down into the Lands of Oneiros. 

While most were content with school being just as hard as it had always been, Hermione found that teaching with Professor Snape was both challenging but more and more natural. Many had believed that it was a farce having _her_ as a teacher, even if she was the voice of Professor Snape, but as it turned out, their classes became harder. They got away with far less, and they couldn’t pretend to be paying attention because a certain megalosaurus would end up breathing down their neck if they weren’t. 

Teaching turned out to be an excellent way to learn, and Hermione began to feel the very things she was translating to Snape’s students. Her potion-making at the front of the class served as an example to the others— an unintended but fortunate side-effect of her both teaching and learning at the same time. 

Time passed quickly, and when it became clear that no amount of understanding was going to happen with her parents refusing to accept their daughter living with a dinosaur in their home, her subsequent summers were spent at Hogwarts with Professor Snape, brewing potions under his ever-watchful eye. 

At least, she figured, it was more understandable that her parents couldn’t wrap their mind around their daughter sleeping with a dinosaur that was also her teacher. There was only so much a Muggle pair of dentists could possibly fathom at once.

Thankfully, whatever it was that Professor Dumbledore finally said to placate them worked, much to her relief. She still received letters from them every month, and she wrote them often, taking care to leave out the parts that were likely to cause their minds to explode.

Shopping was an interesting experience, and the DoM had given Professor Snape a “collar” that would temporarily shrink him down to a more manageable size and made him look like—

Well, apparently a Tibetan mastiff.

Apparently, they were fresh out of the more glamorous glamours. 

Snape seemed utterly disgusted by it all, but he tolerated her putting the “bloody thing” on so they could go shopping in peace without causing a panic. It was easier for him to pose as her familiar than attempt to explain the truth.

Meanwhile, they were both enrolled in an Animagus class together, with Severus acting as if the mandrake leaf stuck to the roof of his mouth was as uncomfortable as a sneak attack of super-sticky peanut butter. She charmed the leaf to stick there after a few hunts had proven that no matter of determination was going to get it to stay when he was eating giant spiders regularly. 

The DoM believed Severus was quite literally a megalosaurus wizard who was quite capable of becoming a homimagus, but they believed her learning together with him might allow her to add a few credentials to her growing resume. There was some speculation as to what had happened to Snape’s wand and if he was incapable of casting magic while in dinosaur form or if he simply couldn’t without a wand. Hermione kept silent about it, figuring that Professor Snape’s talents were his own, and she wasn’t going to help them figure Professor Snape out if they didn’t take the time to ask him themselves.

* * *

By the time Hermione’s seventh year rolled around, the war that could have been, was, and tried again had fallen flat on its face under the screams of maimed, mauled, and otherwise dismembered Death Eaters who discovered exactly _why_ dinosaurs did not care much about wands.

Hermione spent a good few hours cleaning Professor Snape’s teeth afterwards, refusing to sleep in the same room with someone with manky Death Eater breath.

Snape seemed to understand, tolerating her ministrations with a few rumbles of protest but no biting.

Albus Dumbledore seemed strangely happier despite the scores of scattered bodies and body parts that had to be carted away from the Hogwarts’ green.

They found the broken wand remnants scattered about the green as well, and one wand, in particular, caused Aurors to buzz around like agitated bees. 

“Who was Tom Riddle,” Hermione asked as Snape kept a watchful eye on the “untrustworthy” Aurors. He really had never forgiven them for hurting Hermione, and so to him, every Auror was a suspicious dunderhead that bloody well _deserved_ to be bitten. 

Snape eyed her, rumbling.

“Oh. Kind of a big deal then.” 

Snape rolled his eyes to look at her. _Obviously._

“Um—” 

Snape looked at her.

“Did you eat him?” 

Snape chuffed at her.

“Thank, Merlin. He could have given you severe indigestion,” Hermione said, patting him fondly.

He purred, nudging her. 

Hermione boggled as she noticed he had something clenched between his teeth.

She took it and realised it was a scroll container. She popped the wax seal and unrolled the parchment within. 

_“Congratulations, Master Granger!_ ” the parchment announced. _“You have successfully completed all certifications along with your required mastery project, publication, and specialisation in potions! You are now fully certified to teach or brew independently. Our best wishes on your new career, Master Granger, and we hope you will consider registering with us again should you choose to pursue a secondary mastery!_

_The Board of Mastery, British Wizarding Division_

_Simeon O'Connor, Head of the Board of Mastery”_

A shimmering glow shot up from parchment and charmed her wrist with a mark of mastery. The magical mark shimmered and sank deep into her skin, making itself at home within her magical signature.

Hermione dropped the parchment and took Snape’s snout in both hands. “I’m a Master! I’m— I’m a Master!” She did a joyful little dance on both feet and planted a swift kiss on his snout. “I **_love_ **you so much!”

There was a blast of searing heat as a baffled, gobsmacked, and now quite human potions master stood in the megalosaurus’ place.

Hermione stared at him, speechless. 

Snape dropped to one knee. “Marry me?” 

Hermione’s face lit up like Christmas morning. **_“YES!”_ **

Albus Dumbledore gleefully allowed the wedding to take place on the Hogwarts’ grounds, and the entire centaur herd were in attendance. Magorian officiated, giving due reverence to the old gods, the stars and planets, and the powerful magical bond that had only grown between one witch and her beloved dinosaur. 

Hermione took up the reins of teaching Potions to the first through third years, preparing them for the rigours of learning from her husband in their advanced potions classes. It was never said that any student of hers wasn’t ready for what her husband taught. Many said they looked forward to the male Snape because they believed Hermione was super strict with regard to rules and homework.

Oh, how _little_ they knew.

The night halls were quiet and serene, save the distinct stomping of a mated pair of megalosauri patrolling the nighttime corridors. Hermione’s Animagus form had turned out to be, not that anyone had really predicted anything else, exactly like her mate’s. 

And then one day—

The pair was joined by a set of twins— small miniatures of their parents that stomp, stomp, stomped around their parent’s feet like the world was their oyster and nothing could ever hurt them.

Given who their parents were, however, they were probably right.

If anyone was disputing the fact that babies could be Animagi at their age, no one dared to say it to the Snapes’ faces.

Wise, considering just how many teeth were in those faces.

And when all good little wizards and witches were tucked into their dorms after being rooted out of their hidden snogging places, Masters Severus and Hermione Snape would curl up next to Black Lake and stargaze together, their little twin spawns Antonius and Agatha nestled between them without a care in the world. 

And when Masters Snape needed a little private time, Grandpa Albus turned out to be a great baby megalosaurus sitter when the centaur weren’t available. 

And so they lived happily megalosaurus-ly ever after.

**_STOMP!_ **

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed the short, friends! Thank Dragon and the Rose for staying up past her pumpkin hour to beta this ficlet.

Minerva was a bit of a pill in this one, and Albus was a bit of actual okay person in this one. Sometimes, you just have to switch it up XD.


	8. Snuckaroo Snape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah don't ask about the name. It's apparently a thing. XD

[](https://imgur.com/5wD0Joy)


	9. Turtle Wexler's Shin-Kickin Tonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got nothing...

[ ](https://imgur.com/Wf8R6Uz)

For [Turtle_Wexler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtle_wexler/pseuds/turtle_wexler)

Severus opened the case of newly delivered supplies with a wave of his wand, pausing a moment to remove Crookshanks from the top of the box. 

"Away with you, menace."

"Mrrrowl!" Crooks said, winding around his legs and announcing that it was tummy-o-clock, thank you, please, and right meow.

Severus curled his lip. "Hermione, remove your—animal." He narrowed his eyes.

Hermione picked up Crooks and distracted the feline with salmon. She leaned over and gave Severus a kiss on the cheek. "He loves you."

"My robes despise him."

Hermione chuckled. "Fair."

Severus rolled his eyes and finished opening the box. He scanned the list, checking off the bottles for their new product lines and their ever best -sellers: the Long Night's Wizard Tonic and the Magical Mishap Remover for those very stubborn removals.

"Hermione?"

"Hrm?"

"What in the Nine Hells is this?" he asked, holding up a cobalt blue bottle with a parchment label that stated: Turtle Wexler's Shin-Kickin' Tonic.

Hermione eyed the label. "I have no idea, Severus! But, maybe we could use it for the Magical Mishap Remover!"

"I have no idea who this—Turtle Wexler is," Severus said, his lips forming a firm line.

"A shin-kicker, apparently," Hermione said.

Severus' eyes slid sideways. "Obviously." He eyed Crookshanks, eyes narrowing.

"Nope! No shin-kicking Crooks!" Hermione said, putting the bottle back in the crate. "How about dinner."

He scowled. "I suppose dinner will be acceptable." He paused. "What is for dinner?" he asked.

Hermione grinned broadly. "Shin-kickin' ribs!"


	10. Hermione Experimental Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get use to Affinity for painting. It's a struggle. The colours were experimental.

[ ](https://imgur.com/BnwMP1a)

Affinity Photo is the devil... but we are starting to see common ground together.


	11. A Day of Colouring and Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My beta was off fighting the dangerous and horrible migraine boss, and that left me unsupervised. Unsupervised bird equals lots of colouring and mad sketches. This is what happens when random conversations in the sprint channel happen. Also, this is what happens when someone posts sketches in the gallery that attract bird.  
> Oops? All original art used with permission.

[ ](https://imgur.com/irw1Ne5)

This was originally sketched by JoJo the Rad Penguin for her Sneast story. Coloured and inked by me because I wanted to. Or I'm a masochist...

[ ](https://imgur.com/wtEAlwP)

Inspired by random conversation where Ami Mendal was hiding her unicorns from me.

[ ](https://imgur.com/mCdFkKG)

Ami was commenting that her Snape was mad because he had no hair. Turtle_Wexler said there needed to be more squid. I... I can't even explain. XD

[ ](https://imgur.com/5Bei5jt)

Random example sketch made for Ami Mendal.

[ ](https://imgur.com/up5QBhX)

Dracula Snape because someone asked for it-- 

[](https://imgur.com/M7j0NJZ)

Original Sketch by OiCowboy, inked and coloured by me.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM LEFT UNSUPERVISED, PEOPLE!!!!


	12. Severus Watercolour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watched a livestream on watercolours by Nathan Brown over on Design Cuts this morning. This is the result XD

[ ](https://imgur.com/SGWe72f)

"Whatever are you doing?" Snape's expression was pinched as if in pain.

Hermione looked up from her latest project. "Neville wanted me to brew him some fertiliser for his Moondrop plants. He's convinced it will help him get his parents back so they can enjoy their grandchildren."

Snape's lips curved down into a frown. "It won't work."

Hermione sighed, stirring. "I know. Moondrop plants can inspire and encourage creativity and enhance memory, but the effect is fleeting. It cannot restore what isn't there."

"Spoken like a true textbook."

Hermione gave him a look. She let out her breath slowly. "I know what he wants. I know he's desperate for it. He wanted the potion we used to restore my parents, but I told him that only worked because their minds weren't physically damaged, to begin with, but he's obsessed, Severus."

"It's hurting his performance at the school," Severus said slowly, judging Hermione's expression.

"Something I know you can not ignore from a teacher, I know," Hermione said wistfully. She thought a moment. "It must be hard as Headmaster-- having to balance the good of the many over one, no matter how much you might want to."

Severus' posture stiffened as he closed his eyes. The Board of Governors had insisted that all new teachers at Hogwarts had to be competent, but they had used mastery as the only way to prove it-- save one.

While Hermione had slaved away to earn her mastery in both potions, Arithmancy, and Transfiguration just so she could work at Hogwarts, Neville had been allowed in under the clause that accepted Aurors as teachers due to the history that all Aurors had to have the highest marks to become an Auror to begin with. It had not, of course, considered a post-war Auror acceptance program that was far more lenient than before.

It wasn't as if Longbottom wasn't competent as a Herbology teacher, no.

It was the fact that Hermione had had to apprentice to three different masters, publish, do projects, and a multitude of other hoop-jumping just to have the papers to teach--

And when she was done-- she didn't even have to teach anymore. She had enough patents, her own business, and consultations to guarantee she would never, ever have to teach.

So Hogwarts had screwed itself out of a very talented teacher, and he--

Severus frowned.

He had been screwed out of being able to live with his wife most of the year-- a wife who deserved to have more not less.

He engulfed her suddenly like am amoeba causing her to eep. She cast a stasis spell silently and wandlessly, the reflex of a master.

He buried his face into her hair. "I love you."

Hermione sank into his embrace. "I love you too, Severus."


	13. Random Art Flurry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Art was done...

[ ](https://imgur.com/ztJEaKh)

A gift for Mersheeple

[ ](https://imgur.com/6aa1vkt)

Me attempting to use Medibang Pro. Nope. Still don't like it.

[ ](https://imgur.com/5ocJKa2)

Me attempting a rough barn owl for a visual aide.

[ ](https://imgur.com/vuYkC9Z)

Portrait practice

[ ](https://imgur.com/WW0eo2Y)

Original sketch by CRMediaGal, ink and colour by me. Done with Permission.

[](https://imgur.com/JZJE4Y7)

This will somehow end up in one of my stories, probably. Not sure how... but it will eventually happen knowing my track record.


	14. Willing Consummation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus didn't think anyone could accept THAT of all things-- as if accepting his personality wasn't a big enough hurdle, but this?
> 
> Accepting him as he was?
> 
> He was never going to let go.
> 
> Uhhhh mature theme. Close your eyes if you're not an adult. Gosh.

[ ](https://imgur.com/O41TThl)

He'd been a dungeon bat for a long as the sun rose and fell, and people had called him the moniker even without knowing his true nature.

But for her to accept this? What he truly was? What she could turn into should they--

Gods, she was tearing the line of his buttons away as her kisses demonstrated she was more than just tolerant of his presence. Her hands were moving across his skin as his erection practically burst through his trousers. 

There was a strange groaning mewling noise, and he realised with horror that it was him!

It fueled her heated movement against his body, and he felt his claws emerge from his hands even as they twisted into something inhuman. There was a moment of strange disorientation as his human ears ceased to exist and the larger, funnel ears of his species sprung from his hair as if spring-loaded.

She was caressing them, touching them!

He was undone.

He was doomed.

He would never be able to think of anyone but her and her heat against him-- her caresses, her kisses, her-- her!

Wings tore from his back with growing bones as membrane stretched across the expanding "fingers" and they wrapped around her like a cocoon as their bodies struggled to merge completely and utterly, body and soul.

He was panting, growling--

He thrust instinctively, and she was waiting for him. 

Her heat, her moisture-- it welcomed him with a flood of ecstasy, and he trust madly like if he stopped she would disappear into mist.

She was moaning, crying out his name, clawing at his back where fur was crawling over his skin as the change accelerated and he tasted blood as his fangs jutted from his gums, his jaw cracking as it realigned to claim his mate.

"Hermione," he groaned, struggling to control himself, willing years of controls he had learned to dampen the last act of consummation that he wanted-- needed-- lest he live in guilt forever. He looked into her eyes, desperate for her to accept what his father could not: the true nature of the line of Prince. "I need you, but you must be sure. You must be... absolutely sure."

"Yes, Severus, gods-- YES!" she took his face between her hands and kissed him, fangs and all. "I want this. I want YOU!"

He thrust madly, possessive and primal to the bright, shining precipice and then threw himself over it as his fangs sank into her neck with her screaming climax. His wings wrapped tightly around her as she shuddered against him, and was unable and unwilling to even move lest the feeling of completion swan off without even the courtesy of letting him enjoy the afterglow. 

He let out a low moan of pleasured exhaustion, thanking the gods above and below for Hermione Jean Granger, champion of the underdog-- or underbat as it were.

Suddenly, Hermione moved against him, and he could barely even see through the haze of post-coital bliss.

A perfect set of funnelled bat ears sprung from her curls of mass destruction.

"Merlin, Severus. Let's do that AGAIN!"

Severus let out a soft squeak of astonishment.

Yes. Please and thank you!


	15. Batty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This mornings procrastination when I should have been doing something else...

[ ](https://imgur.com/0qta747)

"I'm a bat."

"Mmhmm."

"No, really. I'm a bat."

Hermione flipped a page in her Associative Properties of Arithmancy Matrixes and the Application of Infinite Series. "I heard you, Severus."

"But you aren't listening!" Snape said, frustrated as he downed the last of the tea in one gulp.

"What exactly do you expect me to say?" Hermione asked, closing her book as her brows furrowed together. "You're not just saying this to get out of meeting my parents next week are you?"

"What? NO!" he sputtered. 

"Good because mum wants to go blueberry picking together. It has to be a family affair."

Snape's face scrunched up in frustration, two elegant funnel ears popping out of his hair as his control went pear-shaped. 

Hermione stood and wrapped her arms around Snape's waist. "I love you, you thick-headed git. Do you really think I'd throw in the towel just because you can literally hear me having a nervous breakdown through three walls and down a hall?"

"I--" Snape gulped. "Maybe."

She gave him a kiss on the mouth that made all thoughts go directly south without passing go or collecting two hundred dollars. 

"Hermione--" he panted. "Don't." It was agony having her so close, so willing-- "You could end up with a furry little problem too."

Hermione pulled his head down and massaged his ears until his eyes went crossed. "Mmhmm. Don't care," she said as she drew him into snog to end all songs. 

Severus felt himself falling onto the settee as a startled squeak escaped his throat. 

Losing an argument never felt so good.


	16. Miscellaneous Colourings

[ ](https://imgur.com/j6AE7wk)

Qdrew made a comment in our art discussion channel that boiled down to "colour this unicorn" and well, I could never follow directions exactly. Ever.

[ ](https://imgur.com/OidhBN0)

Tinyrabbit (franka) did an unfinished sketch that was just too irresistible not to ink and colour.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ISwQE0X)

Using one of CRMediaGal's classic sketches to practice colouring (with her permission, of course!) It fought me every step of the way.

[ ](https://imgur.com/EfZSSkV)

JoJo the Rad Penguin did a wonderful bat/vampire Severus with Hermione the werewolf, and well, I just had to ink and colour that too... gosh. 

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night, all the good little batlings were clustered together under their parent's warm wings, squeaking ever so sweetly for a story.

"Please tell us a story!"

"Please, Daddy, please!"

Severus yawned toothily, tongue lolling as he smacked his lips together.

"Once upon a time, there was a dunderhead named Weasel who wanted to marry your mother very much, so he set out one day, wand in hand and a bunch of hastily written cue cards to convince her that she should dump the old greasy-haired git and marry someone more popular and infinitely better looking."

"Did he have shiny fangs, Daddy?"

"No."

"Did have an impressive wingspan?"

"No."

"Could he do cartwheels in the air?"

"Not without breaking his neck from the fall."

"Did he have warm wings to cuddle under?"

"No, he was wingless."

The batlings squeaked to each other in confusion. "What good was he then?" they asked together.

"Hush, batlings, and listen to the story." Hermione chuckled as Severus shook his head.

"Yes, mum!" they chimed and cuddled closer again, ears swivelling.

"The red-headed dumba--"

Hermione cleared her throat."

"Dunderhead," Severus continued, "marched over Hermione's flat and invited himself in, convinced that the day for marriage had arrived, and no one was more suited for one Hermione Granger than Ronald Bilius Weasley."

"Bilius is an odd name," one batling said.

"Sounds like he's full of bile."

"That doesn't sound very healthy."

"Probably ate a lot, didn't he, Daddy? Is that why he was full of bile?"

Severus made a face. "Yes, he did eat more than was expected."

"See! Told you!

The other batlings shushed the other.

Severus sighed and continued. "What the weasel did not expect was that the night before, you mum had made the most glorious convincing argument to one Severus Snape--"

"Ohh, that's you daddy!"

"Shhh, he's telling the story!"

"Sorry!"

"That he was being a paranoid bat in thinking she would reject him just because he had--"

"Stunning intellect?"

"Warm wing hugs?"

"Exemplary flying skills?"

"Shhh!"

Severus exchanged glances with Hermione, who shook her head in amusement. "He believed she would reject him because she was not a bat like he was.

The batlings squeaked indignantly. "Mum has always been a bat! She's the best bat-mum ever!"

Severus smiled. "Yes, she is. I agree. Anyway--"

"Shh!" the one batling hushed her cloud-mates.

Severus sniffed. "The red-headed menace barged into your mum's private residence and found her dangling upside down in the--"

"Warmest wing hug EVER!" one batling crowed.

"SHHH!" the other batlings shushed.

Severus chuckled. "Warmest wing hug... ever," he said. "Mr Weasley promptly lost his mind, obliviated himself, and was sent to Janus Thickney's Ward at St Mungo's where he remains to this day."

"Mummy would never be with anyone but you, right dad?"

"Right," Hermione said, giving Severus a tender lick on the cheek. "Now it's time for you all to go brush your fangs and go to sleep."

The batlings squeaked and tussled and flew off to go do just that.

Hermione snuggled into her mate and squeakhummed happily. "I love you, Severus."

"And they lived happily ever after," Severus replied, pulling her close.


	17. Celebration of Ipad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do christen this ipad with the first artz

[](https://imgur.com/SJkUTB0)

Corvus got a really good deal on a not-best of the best but still great Ipad so she could Procreate it up! (Thank you to the person who returned a perfectly good Ipad because they wanted the most recent one, WOO!)

In celebration, this was the first art to christen the screen. Horray!


	18. Well hello, Hermione.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus was waiting for Hermione.

[](https://imgur.com/SLIUuKF)

Um, well. Don't keep him waiting, Hermione. Gosh.


	19. Happy Birthday, LoverofIronBull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get this done ON their birthday, but I obviously fail by like 4 days? 5 now? *headdesk*

Belated Happy Birthday to LoverofIronBull

[](https://imgur.com/9GWDxFT)

Asian Snape is just as scowly as Caucasian Snape XD. I wish I could say why it came out looking Asian, but I really have nothing to say for it other than "nnngh"


	20. Brush Tests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brush Testing day.  
> Victims: Daub Paintbox and Frankentoon Nautika.
> 
> I may have lustful feelings for Frankentoon Nautika brushes. (eyedarts)

[ ](https://imgur.com/ytONYDL)

This one fought me because my style got caught somewhere between painter and AMGPAINTEVERYWHEREAHHHHHWTFBBQ. I'm pretty darn sure I have NO idea how to use the brushes properly. Oh well, at least Severus looks appropriately disgusted with me.

[ ](https://imgur.com/tbbBCIS)

I was just in a really pissy mood today, and part of me knows it's because THAT is coming soon, but it still makes me feel like a piece of lint drops in the woods and I'm ready to take off the head of every living thing in a 10 mile radius. ARRGH. To top it all off, I ordered pizza from a place I hadn't before, and the pizza toppings slid off the crust and collected moisture on one side of the box, so it (and the crust) was soaked through and soggy. Corvus was not amused. It was a bad day for bird.

Anyway, my beta ran away because she said I need a time out (writing was happening at the speed of icebergs melting during the iceage) so art happened instead. 

Bat-Hermione was done with Frankentoon's Nautika brushes in its entirety (me forcing myself to stay in one set for the purpose of science) The wet paint feel was definitely more my style than the pain(t)box from Daub, but I'm pretty sure I have no idea how to use Daub's brushes effectively. haha.

[ ](https://imgur.com/0xiXBJX)

Essential Max Pack Brushes features Severus the Kneazle. He is not happy with this turn of events.

[](https://imgur.com/X0Pc64g)

Quick doodle using Nikko's Brushes. I liked them, but I didn't spend as much time with them for a more refined drawing. I will have to revisit them again, as I know they are capable of more than my sad attempt.

Anyway... That is my crazy day/evening. Hopefully everyone's day goes better than mine. Cripes. That would not be hard.

[](https://imgur.com/ayE2e2C)

The last one is a certain Nundu and hellhound nomming on Albus' bowl of extra cheesy mac and cheese. For this, I blame Qdrew.


	21. K-10 Not K9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is for K-10 Not K9

[](https://imgur.com/lipppZU)

This is for K-10 Not K9, who arts with tools that I swear were never made to actually be used...


	22. DizzyTara's Oval NK Brush

[](https://imgur.com/FhlcCDo)

Testing out DizzyTara's Oval Sketch NK brush


	23. Crow Tengu Severus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crow Tengu Severus is on to your shenanigans!

[](https://imgur.com/lOIXIrd)

He's watching you.


	24. Four Expressions of Snape

[](https://imgur.com/PAlUKeg)

I'm not sure what the first one is... maybe "You want me to what, Headmaster?"


	25. Demon Severus from In the Darkness in Which We Are Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A remake of an old painting, current style.

You know those old challenges when you take something you did way back when and you redo it in your current style? Yeah that's what I did today. It took... forever. (ok most of today... had to recharge the iPad once) LOL... sheesh.

The original is first. The remake is second.

[ ](https://imgur.com/DDXGpHR)

This is the nightmare of today. XD  
[](https://imgur.com/umTJOJb)


	26. Demon Hermione from In the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And where would Severus be without his lovely mate, Hermione?  
> Lonely and sprogless, indeed. Can't have that.

[](https://imgur.com/qrEDXJO)

Probably the best stupidity Harry Potter ever did was summon a demon and no ordinary demon at that-- an Apocryphal demon whose lines traced back to when time had no record and Darkness was more than just a thing banished by the sun. No, no that wasn't right. The best stupidity he ever did was sacrifice his best female friend to a demon to get rid of Voldemort giving the demon Severus Snape the opportunity to both find and embrace his mate. The second best stupidity was denying her thrice her payment for her services. Now, Hermione, the demon was free to set the stage for a world ripe for her and her mate's sprogs, something the Apocryphal demon elders are rightly excited about.

This is Hermione of the line of Modron, and Modron of Nankazu has roamed the Earth for as long as Darkness whispered unto the creatures huddled in caves praying to survive the night. Her first achievement upon surviving her Change was to survive meeting Severus' sire, Modron. Her second one was surviving accidentally treading on the territory of Radovan of Namtar and making a good impression-- good enough that he allowed her and her mate to make territory in what the human's called Cornwall.

Her true form was bestial as her bloodline had always been, but this was a form caught somewhere in the middle-- between the memory of what being human was and where her true nature combined.


	27. Sevulture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for JoJo the Rad Penguin

Severus the Bearded Vulture.  
He's watching you, Potter.

Seriously, people on ff dot net are going to think I never post anymore, but I'm like always posting-- on here.

Sorry! FF dot net does not like my art!


	28. His NAME is Gerald. Honestly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NJ's prompt was: "Hermione, why exactly are you summoning a demon during your DADA classes?" "Don't be rude. His name is Gerald."

[](https://imgur.com/YYurKhq)

Hermione made a friend. A kind of soul-bound for life kinda friend. Ron is just jealous. Honestly.


	29. Pink Scrunchie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time, Severus Snape needed to tie his hair back, and the only thing he could find was Hermione's pink hair scrunchie.
> 
> Foxy did the original art. I infested it with colour. Teamwork is glorious!

Today's prompt was "pink scrunchie" thanks to Franka.

Foxy had to do a drawing, and I just had to colour it.

*eyetwitch* It's a compulsion. I'm working on it!

The Original is found here: [Pink Scrunchie](https://www.deviantart.com/foxyx/art/Pink-Scrunchie-850964083)

[ ](https://imgur.com/OAmQYZA)

7 hours from Foxy, 7 from me. 14 hours of GLORY! (maniacal laughter)


	30. Gerald Sketches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's a good hell-puppy?! YOU ARE! Such a good boy.

[ ](https://imgur.com/zoZ77TV)

Hermione couldn't help but fall in love with the beast the moment it materialised. It was love at first sight. Ron, of course, thought she was utterly mental.

Gryffindor tower refused her entry, and no amount of convincing could make the door open for "the freak that summoned demons." 

Perhaps it was because McGonagall was a cat at heart, but the elder witch wasn't leaping to Hermione's defence, and even the Headmaster was scratching his head as to what the rules were on demon hounds when there was obviously a bond between them.

Only Professor Snape seemed willing to do what no other teacher would, and he took her as an apprentice after finding her crying out in the rain with only a hell-dog keeping her company. 

Dog. Hound. Beast?

Unlike Fluffy, the creature obeyed his mistress with rapt attention, and so began the apprenticeship of one Hermione Granger to Severus Snape.

Most of the students laughed at her behind her back or even to her face.

Severus Snape didn't take apprentices, so surely it was only out of pity and the Headmaster ordering it that she even had a place to sleep. No one liked her, anyway. She consorted with demons, after all. 

[](https://imgur.com/YPU900q)

People stopped laughing at her when Gerald grew big enough to ride like a horse-- that is, if horses had the ability to tear you to pieces and eat you.

Only Severus Snape could approach Hermione Granger and Gerald without fear, and no one really wanted to approach either of them on any day.

Hermione couldn't imagine why.

Gerald was such a good dog.


	31. Thursday's Art Dump

[ ](https://imgur.com/FON0zpC)

I gave upon this one because it was annoying me. XD AH well.

[ ](https://imgur.com/vif3VCw)

Jojo's original sketch coloured by me. Hermione and Gerald.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ZdJEiu5)

Tried Adobe Sketch. Wasn't impressed.

[ ](https://imgur.com/D70Zx1C)

Tried Adobe Sketch again, just to see if there were redeeming qualities. Eh. Not the worst ever, but I don't like the program.

[ ](https://imgur.com/HumvlpH)

Tried Adobe Fresco. Definitely better feel to it. Seems like they realised Procreate did some things right and they stole it. XD

[ ](https://imgur.com/D1LwxA6)

Tried Procreate Pocket on the phone... Better than MS Paint but tedious as heck to paint in.

[](https://imgur.com/S3tMK4c)

Sevulture. He's a handsome vulture.

Ok, done. Phew.


	32. Death Eater

[](https://imgur.com/kJBWqFc)


	33. the-writers-den Speedo Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this derailed conversation happened in #the-writers-den today...

And this happened--

[](https://imgur.com/GlGxRpS)


	34. Happy 20th birthday, Deviant Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deviant Art 20th Birthday challenge

[](https://imgur.com/LG4qsPS)

My version of the happy birthday redraw challenge for DA's 20th birthday.


	35. Severus the Budgie

[ ](https://imgur.com/tIB3e0X)

Hermione sighed as she turned the page in her notebook and finished writing the rest of her assignment. The extra essays thanks to a certain someone being an unmitigated wanker during Potions class did not help in the slightest to soothe her ire. Worse, it had just gotten worse with Transfiguration class and caused Neville to fall into the Venomous Tentacula in Herbology.

Neville was now being treated for severe envenomation and mental trauma from the experience, and Hermione was done sharing space with idiots and morons who would rather skive off instead of just do what they were assigned and pay attention in class!

After finishing her homework, she pulled out the parchment scroll from her bookbag and cracked her neck before loosening the ribbon that held it closed. She touched the quillwork on it with reverence, closing her eyes.

She had held onto the scroll for over a week, mulling over the words night after night, weighing what it would mean for herself and--well, she wasn't sure it was even real friendship anymore.

More like usury only instead of money, they dangled "friendship" compounded with unrealistic "interest" that involved helping with last-minute homework every bloody night.

"Mione, what's the breakdown on the use of shrivelfigs instead of regular figs in the--" Ron's voice changed into a high-pitched squawk as a dark purple breasted budgie flew out of Hermione's hair and went for Ronald's face.

The boy frantically beat on his own face and ran out of the study hall as Professor Flitwick yelled for 10 fewer points to Gryffindor for his disrespect to studying students.

Hermione shook her head. "What an idiot," she muttered as she dipped her quill into the ink and signed her name to the parchment. She took her wand and touched it to the parchment, sealing the agreement in her magical oath.

"Mione, what is that?" Harry asked, giving her the look that was eighty percent accusatory-- like she had hidden something he had every right to know about.

The purple budgie returned to her, hopping up her arm and disappearing onto her hair-concealed shoulder.

"An apprenticeship contract," Hermione said. "I've accepted."

"What, who? With old McGonagall?"

Hermione closed her eyes, counting to ten. "No. To Professor Snape."

Harry's look of horror on his face almost made it all worth it as Hermione stood, and magic swirled around her, transforming her school robes into apprenticeship robes that pushed aside the modern look for something rigid and formal, Severus Snape's master sigil marking her collar.

Hermione stood, gathering her books and raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger-- oh, oh my! An apprenticeship! Apprentice Granger!" Flitwick chattered excitedly.

"I must attend my Master, Professor Flitwick. May I be excused?"

"Of course, M-- Apprentice Granger, of course! Congratulations!"

Hermione gave a tight, eerily familiar smirk-like smile. "Thank you, Professor," she said and walked out of the study hall, her robes swishing behind her with a disturbing familiarity.

"There's no way she's apprenticed to that greasy git!" Harry yelled in protest.

Many more points were lost by Gryffindor that day, but the purple budgie on her shoulder sang sweetly to her from his perch on her shoulder.

Hermione smiled, offering the smug budgerigar a choice crisp from her stash of snacks she had saved from Ron's vacuum mouth.

The bird took it delicately and made it disappear then chirped imperiously.

"Yes, Master," Hermione said as she pulled out her book. "Turn to page 394."

She leaned back against the tree trunk, opened her textbook, and began her assigned reading-- blissfully unbothered by anyone or anything.


	36. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early in the story, Hermione needs a little "help" making the change, which Severus is only to happy to oblige.

[ ](https://imgur.com/qlYk9mZ)

It was, Severus realised, pleasurable to help his mate through the transition, not that his wasn't of sorts, but there was something undoubtedly more intimate than the touch of skin against skin or even the act of sex. His own transition had not been torture, as Modren had been a patient and even understanding lover, but he had almost felt as though he were two separate entities and the part of him that was the most human had sort of walled himself away and stuck his fingers in his ears as denial set in.

No, this time he wanted this union-- this joy. He wanted to see the darkness pool in her eyes as the ichor allowed her to merge with her demon and shift--

He marvelled at how at peace Hermione was with the conversion; she trusted him.

Gods, she trusted him.

How simple and yet profound that revelation was.

He watched her expression as her eyes rolled back and her mouth parted in ecstasy, the union of that which was Hermione Granger with the demonic was flooding her senses with the rapture that came with the merge.

Potter, he knew more than ever, was an idiot. To sacrifice someone Hermione for what? Power to defeat a Dark Lord? And not even a week into the contract, Harry Potter had already botched the agreement. Two more strikes and Hermione would be free of the binding and they would both be able to focus on more important things-- like sprogs.

The very thought of young demons running around made him shiver with excitement. Demons loved sprogs, and all the elders from Modren to Radovan would be more than a little excited at the prospect of teaching the next generation. Tanaquil, of course, wouldn't be able to resist helping each any female sprogs how to be proper little demonesses. 

But that was a conversation for a future time-- when Hermione was fully bonded to her demon and to him, able to make the change at will, and able to sustain it. All these things were more important in the now.

"Severus," Hermione moaned. "I need you." 

He covered her mouth with his, passing the all-important flow of ichor into his mate's mouth. Some of it dribbled down her cheek, sending blackness into her veins and arteries as her body absorbed its gift. 

She growled, her arms locking around his back and pulling him down upon her with needy intent.

Well then!

Who was he to deny his mate the pleasure she so craved?

As they coupled in a heated union, Severus made a mental note to send Potter a gift basket to thank him for being the kind of idiot that gives one of his best friends to a demon and expects it to go well.

Not that he was complaining, no.

As Hermione let out a shriek of pleasure and her hands clawed down his back--

No, Hermione wasn't complaining either.

Excellent.


	37. Grumpy drawings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hot. It's sticky. It's clammy in the AC. I'm out of snacks. I'm a grumpy bird.

[ ](https://imgur.com/wIx3XL2)

Gerald is chewing on his plushie toy. What do you mean it looks like Ron? Coincidence.

Then I decided to test out LePunktnoir's calligraphy brush (fine).

[](https://imgur.com/NpBxyxI)

The calligraphy smooth is my favourite. Closer to my copperplate nib. 

Arhghglshfff... I don't feel like rating, writing, or gaming. *headdesk* Grumpy bird is grumpy.

[](https://imgur.com/aDLjHhb)

This one is for LadyHeliotrope, whose statement I read completely wrong as "Domestic Shitake Fox"


	38. Yawn from the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bird is tired, and so is Severus.

[](https://imgur.com/Zwbi5T2)   
  


It had been a long day breaking the minds of Ministry, and Severus Snape was damn tired. He was so tired that when Crookshanks gave a lazy roll over onto his back and yawned at him that he couldn't help but yawn in response.

Only it was never that easy--

Gods, no.

The next thing he knew, his robes have been ripped away again as his body burst through them into the jet black unthing that was his true form that lay somewhere between thylacine and feline with a mixer of writhing tentacles from the void that squirmed around as his teeth exposed and tongue lolled, and the back of his throat that might as well have shown the gateway to the underworld.

Nnngh.

He managed to finish his yawn, but it felt like he'd just inhaled the vastness of space and had to swallow it

He got up groggily and padded toward the bedroom, not even bothering to try and find food. He swatted the switch on the wall as he padded by the kitchen to release the salmon pate for Crookshanks from its stasis and kept on walking. Crooks was enthusiastically vacuuming up the food before Snape could even exit the area.

He jumped up onto the bed, kneaded the pillow with his paws, and collapsed in a heap of black fur. 

His eyes were already closed when a warm arm wrapped around his chest and breath tickled his neck.

"Long day, love?" Hermione whispered, giving him a tender kiss on the side of the muzzle.

He rolled his eyes. Surely she heard them. He was going to curse every single one of those damnable dunderheads so they peed neon green for the next year.

Hermione snuggled in closer into his fur making herself comfortable as she pulled the duvet over them both. "I love you."

Severus closed his eyes as her warmth infested his body and her fingers massaged his ears.

Okay, maybe just a week.

Out of principle.


	39. Take that, Lupin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione cuddles with her werewolf with no wolfsbane potion required.

[](https://imgur.com/azhvBHY)   
  


The wolfsbane potion was for regular werewolves-- those people who never accepted their wolf and whose wolf could never accept the human. Locked in perpetual strife for twenty some days, the wolf always emerged hungry, maniacal, lonely, and disturbed. Even those like Fenrir Grayback couldn't say he and the wolf were at peace because he wanted to hurt others and use the wolf to do it. His "pack" was utterly dysfunctional, treating him as a dictator pack leader who just happened to like attacking children and biting them young-- if not outright killing them.

Lupin, of course, didn't believe Hermione in the slightest when she told him she didn't have to worry about the wolfsbane potion.

"Impossible," he said. "You're mad."

Hermione just shook her head and left the room and the conversation, unable to tolerate his closed mind or even her opinion.

But how could he?

He couldn't even make peace with the wolf inside him.

So, let Remus chug his wolfsbane potion for a week and sit in a cage until Nymphadora was sure he was Remus stuck inside a werewolf's body. It was his choice, after all. At least he wasn't harming his family, save for the stress of having a werewolf for a husband.

Besides, she wasn't exactly going to tell Remus how she found out that wolfsbane wasn't necessary while he was being so difficult. Nope.

Her Apparate took her home, and the chill of the night kissed her exposed skin causing her to shiver.

She passed through the wards on the cottage and smiled with relief even as she tugged off her cloak and shirt and lay them over the back of the nearby chair. 

"You smell of Lupin and the Weasleys," a low voice growled with distaste.

Hermione sighed. "Fine, no hello kiss from me then," she said, stomping off to the bath. Honestly, it wasn't like she had actually touched anyone that night. He was so irritable over the smallest things. She called it PMS for pre moon syndrome.

As she stood under the hot water and lathered herself up, she tried to let the water carry away her frustrations. It wasn't like Remus could help being Remus anymore than Severus could stop being snarky all 365 days of the year.

Arms wrapped around her from behind, and a certain mouth suckered onto her neck. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice a low growl. "I smell others on you and I don't like it."

"I know," Hermione said. "But at least try to understand it's not like I went there just to piss off your nose."

He was lathering her back while laying kisses upon her skin. "I missed you."

Hermione turned and looked up into his eyes. "I missed you too," she said, touching his cheek.

His mouth covered hers almost immediately, and Hermione was moaning in response as their bodies clashed together in rising need. She was barely conscious of having finished her shower as the bodies ended up in the bedroom, still dripping with water from the shower.

He sucked on her skin, his teeth grazing it as he worked her into a frenzy, his own deep growls becoming deeper and less human. She cried out for him, and he obliged, sinking into her with abandon, as each thrust seemed to make his eyes glow a deep yellow.

As they climaxed together, Hermione's body spasmed as their bodies lay entwined, their magic swirling and cavorting together even as their bodies lay together and still.

His change came perhaps minutes or hours after, his body sliding from one form into the other as smooth as an Animagus shift. No pain. No resistance.

The wolf snuffled the neck of his mate, whining and licking her face and neck. 

She exposed her neck to him and her belly-- trusting him as no one had ever trusted him before or since. 

His teeth flashed as he grasped the skin between his fangs-- just enough for Hermione to let out a small whimper of pleasure.

He released her, tail wagging as he flopped beside her.

She wrapped her arms around him, laying her head and chest against his barrel-like body, her hand curled against one ear as her face buried into his soft fur. She placed a tender kiss against his muzzle. "I love you," she whispered, snuggling into him as his tail thumped against her and curved around to cover his mate from the chill. 

The wolf and the man were in perfect agreement.

Hermione was the one.

The only one that mattered to them both.


	40. Hornbill Severus (It's a kingfisher)

Hornbill Severus is judging you.

Good news, finished my assignment for the H&C exchange... bad news. No one gets to see it until after December 20th.

Sorry.

Yes, I know it's a kingfisher, but the reference I used literally had hornbill all over it, so it was on my mind. (sigh)

Regardless of species, Severus is totally judging you.


	41. What have you done now, Hagrid?

[](https://imgur.com/68Bplkq)

Severus Snape woke to stare into the black eyes of what was the largest budgerigar he’d ever seen. 

Only as the head bonked into his hand, he realised it was connected to a feline-like body. It had bird legs on the front end and a Kneazle or miniature lion’s rear end. 

The creature looked into his eyes, and he immediately felt a warmth spread through his body as molten love filled in every neglected crack in his abused soul. 

“Fuck,” Severus cursed as he realised the profound had just smacked him upside the head and gifted him a mutant.

The budgie-gryph chirred and snuggled up to his neck and hair. She yawned squeakily and stretched, cuddling against him with a contented, happy chirp.

Severus felt the strong pull of the bonding magic drag him under as it overwrote all the other bonds he never knew he had. 

He was out cold in seconds.

The dark shadows seemed to move under his skin on his left arm and churn violently. Dark black ooze seeped out from his pours in rivulets as if trying to escape something.

Colourful patterns like feathers covered his arm in waves and met with the dark, inky ooze. The ooze screeched in seething impotent fury as it turned to ash as the miniature gryphon’s tail banished it completely with an irritated swish.

The little beast yawned, kneaded a space between Snape’s body and his unmarked arm, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Headmaster’s Office…

* * *

“What do you mean you lost a student, Hagrid?” Albus Dumbledore’s eyes managed to narrow into slits as Fawkes let out a squawk before whistling Baa Baa Black Sheep from his perch.

“Well, I er, uh— I know you told me to fetch her and make sure she got through Diagon Alley safely and all before I did my other errands, see,” Hagrid said. “And I stopped to get some supplies since it was early, but I found her after that running around with the parents, I think. So, I tried waitin’, but she had to get measured for robes, and it was takin’ forever, yeah? So I excused me-self to do that other errand you wanted me to do an ran into ‘arry ‘n had to give him ‘is birthday present. He’d n’ver been to Gringott’s either, so I said since I were goin’ there anyway and all, I’d take ‘em. I ‘ad that errand ye wanted me doing, too, so while I was getting that, I stopped to do that other one, then I came back for ‘er and, well, I bumped back into ‘er an’ all ‘n we sorta collided ‘n all that, but I got her to the train ‘n all—” 

Albus’ temple seemed to throb visibly as the artery there pulsed.

“Hagrid your instructions were to bring Miss Granger here directly.”

“Well, she ‘ad to take the train, Headmaster,” Hagrid said. “How else was she going to get in the boat to get here!” 

“But you lost her, Hagrid,” Albus said, giving him stern eyebrows.

“Well, yeah— that,” Hagrid said awkwardly. “But I gave ‘er that bag you wanted me to give ‘er!” he said. “And I picked up that bag of stuff you wanted from the apothecary.” He plunked down a leather bag on the desk.

“Be careful with that, Hagrid,” Dumbledore warned. “If it mixed with anything, it could do a great number of untold things we don’t want to think about.”

He tugged on the strings and looked into the bag.

“Hagrid, hand me the other bag. This doesn’t have the catalyst in it.” 

Hagrid fumbled around and took another bag off his belt and plunked it on the desk.

Albus set his jaw as he looked into it— and poured out some galleons and a school list, and various other things he had originally sent to the Granger girl so she could head straight to Hogwarts after getting her wand.

“Hagrid—” 

Hagrid fumbled around some more and put all the pouches he had on Albus’ desk with a sheepish look. “Mm. Sorry, Headmaster, Sir.” 

Albus opened each one.

“Rubeus, where is the stone?” 

“In the pouch, Headmaster.” 

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore sat down in his chair as Fawkes burst into flames and turned to ash.

“Oh,” Hagrid said, rubbing his beard. “That’s not a good sign.”


End file.
